Written March, 2020. . .
I sure hope you had a good and calm weekend. There have been so many rumblings around the world and I hope that you have found a way to stay steady and sure, with faith, resourcefulness and perseverance to see this particularly challenging flu-season through. I saw a post yesterday that asked, "Can we start 2020 over?" I say do not worry friends. There is a reason for this season and we are here at this time to add our energy to this situation. I can choose to be afraid or I can choose to stay centered, mindful and positive. We are all in this together and as my husband said, in his cheerful way this morning, as he stood in a long line at the post office, "We just need to stay calm and civil." Let me climb down from my soap box and get over to the subject I said I would write about this week- school.
What am I doing going back to school at 56 years old? Shouldn't I have figured out what I want to do when I grow up, 30 years ago? Not necessarily, although I've beaten myself up about it a time or twelve over those years. I have known what I want to do and be for a very long time, I just haven't done a great job at getting where it is I want to go.
I have had my own creative businesses; I started with DebSign Graphics, which became DZign, with an off-shoot called Wishful Gifts. I have helped run, build and close a couple of other businesses: Live In Our Dream, LLC which is our flipping business (currently sleeping), then there was Another Chapter Bookstore, opened and closed in 9 Karmic months (long story). And then there's Creating Happy. I have been talking about my baby, my dream business, Creating Happy since my blog began. That is what needs a spark and that's why I signed up for an awesome online business school.
I am so over-the-moon happy to have joined B-School with Marie Forleo! And what makes that even better is I signed up through a business woman I really admire, Kari Samuels! Let me back up a couple of steps, maybe three, to give you the back story. I first heard about Marie Forleo four or five years ago. She is a sassy, authentic, smart business woman who offers a course to help entrepreneurs take their businesses to the next level. I missed the first sign up, wasn't ready for the second, missed the deadline for a scholarship the third year and this year I was ready. When the details were released for scholarship submissions I spent the entire weekend trying to craft just the right video. How do I tell my story about Creating Happy and what I want to do in 90 seconds? I created a 89 second video and submitted it with eight minutes to spare.
It was a terrible video but I was holding out hope that Marie and her team would see that spark in me and offer me a scholarship. I got in the car after an art lesson and checked my email, my name was not on the list. I began driving home and it took me about 3 minutes to realize that I needed to make this commitment to myself and sign up for B-school. I talked with my husband about wanting to join, he was supportive and encouraging as always and left it up to me. I slept on it and the next morning, after coffee I did a meditation from Kari Samuels- I know meditation after coffee, so counter-intuitive, but some days that's just how I roll! After that centering and grounding meditation I knew I had to go for it. Sounds silly now to say that I was afraid but that's where I was. This one simple act of signing up for a 2 month or so course brought up all kinds of feelings and I just had to leap.
I am in my 3rd week of B-School and this amazing course is kickin' my ass! (say that like Jim Carey in Liar-Liar.) I didn't imagine that this would be such a deep dive into my soul but it absolutely is. My lack of trust and belief in myself became very clear and I had to work my way through that along with feeling the four stages of competency; unconscious incompetency, conscious incompetency, conscious competency and unconscious competency. I have been over my head, there was some FOMO, (fear of missing out) and not feeling accepted- all of these thoughts and feelings have been in my head and stopping me from building my life and my business my way.
I am committed to myself because I have something really amazing I want to share with all of you. I am going through this process and building my plan smartly and completely. A bit of a challenge because I want to Go-Go-Go! I have been afraid to let all of my light shine for a long time and I know there will still be days that fear sneaks back in, but now I have and am gathering so many amazing tools to help me bring all of Creating Happy to you.
I thank you from the middle of my heart for sticking with me through my twists and turns. It has been my intention to share this journey with you so you might find strength to shine your own light and I am so excited for what's to come. The world is throwing up some unusual obstacles on this particular path of mine and yours but nothing we can't work through. Remember this too shall pass, stay calm and civil and make the best with what life has given you. I wish you the very best and I will write again soon. Take good care.
Happily, Debi :)
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