As I believe everything happens for a reason, which I may have mentioned a time or two, I knew there were lessons bubbling and brewing that would lift me out of my own way. I am learning that doing what is in my heart, from a place of joy, without expectation has helped me jump gracefully over the quicksand of self-doubt.
My family is in the surf, frolicking in the foamy waves of the ocean, playing and laughing and so enjoying the moment. And I, I am standing on the shore acting like I am fulfilled in the moment of my limiting choices. I don’t join them because I’m afraid. Afraid of losing control in the current, afraid of the possibility of a looming shark attack…What? That literally happened on Virginia Beach in the summer of 2015. When did I become so afraid?
It took me about 3 minutes to realize that I needed to make this commitment to myself and sign up. I talked with my husband, he was supportive and encouraging as always and left it up to me. I slept on it and the next morning, after coffee I did a meditation - I know meditation after coffee, so counter-intuitive, but some days that's just how I roll!
I use one of my favorite statements when I am feeling present and accepting- "A wizard arrives precisely when she means to." I don't feel stressed or anything, except perfectly happy with where I am and how I arrive there. But every day is so different and sometimes it's hard to find where my wizardly energy is hiding.