Not every day has been comfortable. We have been learning to co-exist together all the time and although we love each other, we still need our space our way. I realized that there were patterns of thought that created more friction and other ways of thinking that kept the peace in tact. Sounds logical, but if you aren't paying attention, the negative thought patterns sneak in and lock the happy thoughts in the basement or under the bed.
As I believe everything happens for a reason, which I may have mentioned a time or two, I knew there were lessons bubbling and brewing that would lift me out of my own way. I am learning that doing what is in my heart, from a place of joy, without expectation has helped me jump gracefully over the quicksand of self-doubt.
My family is in the surf, frolicking in the foamy waves of the ocean, playing and laughing and so enjoying the moment. And I, I am standing on the shore acting like I am fulfilled in the moment of my limiting choices. I don’t join them because I’m afraid. Afraid of losing control in the current, afraid of the possibility of a looming shark attack…What? That literally happened on Virginia Beach in the summer of 2015. When did I become so afraid?
It took me about 3 minutes to realize that I needed to make this commitment to myself and sign up. I talked with my husband, he was supportive and encouraging as always and left it up to me. I slept on it and the next morning, after coffee I did a meditation - I know meditation after coffee, so counter-intuitive, but some days that's just how I roll!
So many people are in positions they have never been in before. I believe everyone has their own battles during this time and I think each realization, lesson and change in our lives will make us better in all the right ways. I have always had hope for us and I know that the phrase, 'We are all in this together' has never meant so much.